Tuesday, 29 December 2009


Felice Navidad! Fezzaunt 'ere..... ah, Val, can I 'ave some fruit in mine?

A lovely Christmas was spent at Fezzaunt Towers with a carefully selected smattering of Fezzaunt lovers. Turkey was most definitely on the menu and pigs in blankets were served in scallop shells; the only vague homage to our lovely Prestonians! Some very close Fezzauntites made a very special announcement by presenting the Fezzaunt with a prototype of Fezzaunt-opoly; a huge rollercoaster of a board game sure to take over the world in the same way Trivial Pursuit did in the 80s. Take the trip around Drama Queen Drive, Cliffe Court and Bernies Tropical Island Bar building properties and making a fortune... nothing like the real Preston at all but a glamorous idea of what Preston might be like if the Fezzaunt lived there.

It's shame you haven't got one!

Do you like Fezzaunt-opoly Nigel? I never asked you!

I like Fezzaunt-opoly (that I do know).

Fezzaunt signing off.


Tuesday, 8 December 2009

Christmas in Preston?

Hullo Reg! Fezzaunt 'ere!

Now then, having just scanned the festive Radio Times, the Fezzaunt is extremely disappointed with C4. Yes, we have a lovely festive edition of CDWM with David Gest (a personal friend of the Fezzaunt), but still no sign of the highly anticipated Preston reunion. What with Big Brother leaving our terrestrial screens next Summer, surely C4 need a bit of a ratings boost?

Follow the Fezzaunt, Valerie lovers. I call upon you to take a stand, eh? Get onto C4 or Granada and beg them (yes, beg them) to produce what could be the very best piece of British TV since the airing of the original 5 episodes.

Let me know how you get on Fezzauntites by email me at the address detailed on this page.

Vals house is still on the market and the Fezzaunt will be up in Preston in the New Year for a swift half at Bernards tropical island bar before spending a thousand pound in twenty pound notes on nice things!

Keep them comments coming and make sure you relive the memory every now and then by rewatching this historic event.

Fezzaunt over and out.


Saturday, 28 November 2009

I can't see that any of us ull be goin'

Ole! Fezzaunt 'ere!

The search for Valerie in Lanzarote draws to a fruitless close.... she's not 'ere.

After much deliberating, the Fezzaunt feels it's time to take THAT trip up the M6 to the Tickled Trout, taking a left and searching for the famous 5 in their home town. Of course, Valerie lovers, we'll keep you informed about when this pilgrimage will take place and many photos will be posted.

It's now time to fly North for the Winter!

Beunos noches.

Fezzaunt :-)


Monday, 23 November 2009

The search for Valerie: UPDATE

Ola! Fezzaunt 'ere! My search for Val has lead me to Lanzarote; the nothern island in the Canaries. Now donning a wristband, hoping for a white mark a la val, we're sure we're close to finding her.

She's definitely been 'ere!

Fezzaunt :-)

Friday, 20 November 2009

Y Viva E'Fezzaunt!

Ola! Fezzaunt 'ere!

As it's shooting season, the Fezzaunt has decided to take a break next week and leave the country but fear not Valerie lovers, the Fezzaunt will be back the week after next with more tales of our 5 Famous Prestonites.

Im off to the Canary Islands (Yes, If I see her, I'll take a pic and post it!).

Beunos Dias

Fezzaunt :o)

Monday, 16 November 2009

It was crazy, my night.....

Fezzaunt 'ere! It was crazy, my night. Balloons and banners decked the halls of Fezzaunt Towers on Friday night as the Fezzaunt celebrated it's birthday with 4 very close friends. Obviously Old El Paso fahitas featured heavily in a tingy tango jamaican sauce with the obligatory gummel (how do pronounce that word please?). One of the guests had to cook the dinner as a pneumatic nail shop owner fell asleep upstairs. Although he doesn't normally do packets, it was a success. The refried beans went straight in the bin, untouched; nobody wanted them, they just looked stupid.

Hats off to the gummel, although it was a bit chunky; I were feared of chippin' a tooth.

Happy birthday to you!
Happy birthday to you!
Happy birthday dear Fezzaunt!
Happy birthday to you!


Thursday, 12 November 2009

I were feared of chippin' a tooth!

Fezzaunt 'ere! A very big welcome to our overseas followers (you know who you are!)

We need more followers on the blog to keep it going so tell all your Preston-loving friends to get on 'ere and start commenting!

This site isn't just for the young and the sexy an' all that, it's for all ages, shapes and sizes. Why, Bernard himself is said to have had a view once or twice.

If I don't keep this blog based on the fact that Preston is my heart and my passion.....

Fezzaunt :o)

Wednesday, 11 November 2009

Strictly Come Poledancing With Me

Hello Darlings! Fezzaunt 'ere! I can't even remember how much I paid for them now.....

Having watched all the episodes again whilst quaffing wine and laughing hysterically, I suddenly wondered what life must be like for our famous 5 since the first airing? Do you think Valerie has had to put the house on the market because of constant media attention? Has Nigel gone back to his showbiz life in the sun? Is Bernard overworked with requests for pineapple doormats and did Dawn's poledancing skills help her when she wrapped her car around a pole?



Friday, 6 November 2009

Reg's Fezzaunts

Here's the actual place where are lovely Val famously purchased her fezzaunts...

I'm off to Gran Canaria (before I snuff it).....

Fezzaunt 'ere! It's been a busy week what with me trying to recreate the entire Preston menu. If anyone wants to donate scallop shells, email me; I bought some from the fishmonger, can't remember how much I paid for them now, but I've put them in the dishwasher too many times and there's nothing left of them.

Bernard's coming to lay the carpets this weekend. I'm having pineapples right up the hallway. He tells me it will be like an opera, like a ballet, like a symphony! As you can imagine, I'm more than a little excited.

I hope they like pineapples, eh? I like pineapples!


Wednesday, 4 November 2009

"Minor YouTube celebutante who came third in a minor reality show" Wikipedia SHOCKER!

The Fezzaunt is SHOCKED to hear that some idiot has asked Wikipedia to remove Valerie Holliday from their website because she is a "Minor YouTube celebutante who came third in a minor reality show"! Valerie fans MUST make a stand and do something about this. Get onto Wikipedia and stop this debacle! C4 have already taken Valerie Holliday the Movie off YouTube and now this!

The Fezzaunt isn't pleased.

Dawn! Yer 'air's in yer avocaaaaaado!

Have a look at this piece of sheer utter genius!

Monday, 2 November 2009

Washed up old shells.....

Hello Fezzaunt lovers... Fezzaunt 'ere! I've never timed anything in my life!

Had a lovely weekend in Preston with the gang. Nigel cooked us a beautiful meal which we ate in a tent in his garden. After that it was over to Bernie's Tropical Island Bar which was open until late. Finally, all back to Paul's for some poledancing; obviously Valerie wouldn't take part. She said it was just for the young and the sexy an' all that!


Friday, 30 October 2009

Oh! what a beautiful mornay.....

The Fezzaunt 'ere! I'm off to Bernards Carpets this weekend for a deep pile. Also, Dawn's promised to take me out on a binge drinking weekend which I'm very much looking forward to. It's will be nice to see if she can manage to wrap another car round a tree. I'll be making an appointment with a certain estate agent too ..... I'm moving in, but only if Valerie stays and does dinners!


Thursday, 29 October 2009

The house sale.....

The Fezzaunt has inside information relating to the sale of our Val's cosy bungalow. It's on the market with a top secret celebrity Preston Estate Agents. You too could live like a Canarian Star..... get those bids in, eh?!

Last night.....

Last night was horrendous. It was like something I've never experienced in all my time on this Earth.

The dessert just looked stupid. It was rock hard. If I'd tried to cut into it, it would have just shot across the table!

Wednesday, 28 October 2009

Pretty wonderful.....

I've just done Pasta for my friends. They liked it and that made me happy. I just need to get them to like the main course and I'M THERE!

Pasta has always gone doooown well, wherever I've, er, done dinners.

The Official C4 Preston Webpage and THE RECIPES!

Why not try one of these mouthwatering dishes at home.....

Click on the title but don't forget to come back, eh?!

Open for business.....

Good afternoon Valerie lovers everywhere! Finally, somewhere we can all share our love for the best CDWM week ever! Come on, join the fun!

I hope you like Fezzaunts, eh? I like Fezzaunts!